Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
