I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dignity is for republicans.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
