i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
