Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
