Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
