some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
