Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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