i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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