You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
