he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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