My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
