Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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