batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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