i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
