I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just high enough for therapy.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
