WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize