You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
