im gay
i know
yea but for you.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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