Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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