At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize