I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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