Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
