I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
my poor anus
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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