i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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