didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize