PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
