went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Are my feet made of real feet?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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