Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
