So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
