my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
