Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
