When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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