i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
