i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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