The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We are all done wearing pants today
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
