i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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