I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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