Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
