I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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