how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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