she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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