I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
