Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have already put on my inside pants.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
