Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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