I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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