so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
