We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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