very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
