summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
