just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Randomize
