This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
