i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I need a beard to bite.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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