Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
