is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How does one acquire holy water?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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