yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
