Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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