yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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