I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
