ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize