how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
