I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
