Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
