Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
