Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
