The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
