WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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