He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i will never coherently bang her
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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