Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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