she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
