; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
