Dual....:-)
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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