I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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