i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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