Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
