Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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