I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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