I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
