come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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