yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize