pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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